A weekly column on human psychology, youth & leadership with Dr. Debilal Mishra
Misunderstanding affects our lives in myriad ways. Sometimes it creates the worst kinds of problems. Misunderstanding unsettles a relationship and makes things miserable for all. How to get rid of it? Today we’ll be discussing such questions in the column Finding Hope with DLM.
Q-Why does misunderstanding occur in our lives?
It occurs due to several reasons including but not limited to our ego-centric nature, lack of trust and sensitivity, sense of excessive self-conceit and ignorance. Sometimes we are so self-driven, that we hardly have a heart for others. We always think we are right. We may be right, but being right doesn’t essentially mean being unsympathetic and unconcerned. To understand someone is never easy. It involves a psychic process replete with sensitivity, receptivity and connectivity based on trust. Lack of trust is always central to misunderstanding.
Q- How does misunderstanding affect our lives?
It can create some worst disasters. Lack of understanding often leads to the crises of various natures affecting every part of our lives. Simply put, no understanding means no trust; no trust means no acceptance; and no acceptance means no relationship. Life is affected this way.
Q-How can we remove misunderstanding?
We need to bring some changes to our nature, to the way we think. We can remove misunderstanding only by understanding. There’s no other satisfying way. In our lives, sometimes we can’t understand, sometimes we don’t want to understand and sometimes we misunderstand. If we can’t understand, it’s ignorance; if we don’t want to understand, it’s ego; and if we misunderstand, it’s lack of trust. We need to manage ourselves accordingly.
Communication plays a major role in our relationships. The nature of our communication influences the nature of our relationship, and the nature of our relationship influences the nature of our communication. We must understand to communicate and communicate to understand. Understanding someone consists in understanding the situation they are in. We usually have a tendency to view the communication instead of viewing its underlying motivations which is more important. In order to avoid misunderstanding, we must have control over our reactions and understand the situation in its entirety. It’s a matter of the views and values ultimately.
Q- What is ideal communication as far as the context of relationship is concerned?
Very good question indeed! Ideal communication is based on sensitivity, understanding, good intentions, and above all love. The more you understand, the more you love; and the more you love, the stronger it becomes. Our communication should result from and result in understanding. Then only can it be ideal!
(Dr. Debilal Mishra, is a communication specialist currently working at Ravenshaw University, Cuttack Odisha as Assistant Prof., Dept. of Journalism and Mass Communication)