Ramendra Kumar
What is the most precious gift a parent can give to a child? it is not money or things which money can buy. It is a bundle of memories – each a gossamer fabric of fun and togetherness. And how is this fabric created – with two four-letter words – Love & Time.
I remember once an Executive Director in my organization told me, “I have seen my daughter grow only vertically, not horizontally. I left for work in the early hours when she would still be sleeping and I returned late in the night when she would be asleep.” He looked at me expecting me to unleash a torrent of applause in honour of his commitment to the organization. I wanted to tell him, “Mr. Executive Director I have yet to see a more unfortunate and stupid man then you. Unfortunate because you do not know the myriad moments of love, joy, fun, and bliss that you missed and stupid because you don’t even realize you missed them.”
Many of us are so busy getting things for our loved ones by investing money that we forget to give something which is free but invaluable – the gift of a memory. And this gift comes wrapped in a currency which we all have in plenty but we perennially complain we are short of – the currency of Time. We should remember that gadgets get outdated, get broken, clothes get torn, but memories do not get obsolete, they last a lifetime.
We have all heard of ATM or Automatic Teller Machine Card. Today I invite you to invent a new ATM – Any Time Memory Card. This currency is not plastic, it is for real. It has no value, simply because it is priceless. It has no expiry date and comes in all denominations. And whether there is a surge or slump in the market this ATM will always be cherished.
For many years now I too have been making conscious, deliberate efforts at creating memories – to leave behind a legacy of endearing moments for my daughter and son. Every year during the first burst of rain which usually happens in the month of May we three go out on the lawn in front of our house. There in broad daylight, clad in our shorts, we get totally drenched. As we slide through the slush and mud, singing and dancing to glory, the moments are captured on camera. This unselfconscious, uninhibited, and unadulterated madness has been going on for years. And when it stops I don’t know who will be sadder my kids or me! When my kids were still quite young, together we evolved the concept of ‘Papa’s Day Out’.
My wife Madhavi, who worked in the same Steel Plant as me, would be packed off to the office for the day. After attaining freedom, the three of us would go berserk. The entire agenda would be set by the kids. We would be doing crazy things like having lunch for breakfast and vice versa. We would go to the park or on long drives, eat-in seedy places, which Madhavi wouldn’t be found dead in, watch kitschy movies on the DVD player, sing, dance, and do anything and everything which was nutty, wacky, and loony. And if it rained there would be a slight amendment – we would ‘solemnly’ observe ‘Papa’s Day In’ with all the lunacy intact.
(Ramendra Kumar is a Writer, Story Teller and Motivational Speaker. Views are Personal)
Effective Parenting: A New Paradigm