OdishaPlus Bureau
A weekly column on human psychology, youth & leadership with Dr. Debilal Mishra
Our life is full of people of different natures. And this often affects our mind. How to deal with the people around us and bring in peace? Today we would be discussing such questions in the column Finding Hope with DLM.
Q: How should we deal with people we don’t like?
DLM: First you have to understand why you don’t like someone. Everyone has got their own unique nature. You may not like every nature. But you need to ask yourself: is the person important in my life? If no, just let them be there and dissociate yourself emotionally. If yes, you hardly have any option. In this case you keep doing your duty without any expectations since your expectations would disturb the peace of your mind ultimately.
Q: There are some people who are important, but sometimes they behave like strangers! How to deal with this situation?
DLM: It means you are emotionally attached and dependent on those people. You should never let your dignity and sense of independence perish at any cost! We must remember that we can’t expect anyone to behave the way we like. If some people behave like strangers at times, it’s their strange nature! Why are you worried? Can you change their nature? If no, why are you losing your happiness?
Your happiness should be more important to you than the so-called important people with such strange natures. Remember, if someone is genuinely connected and cares for you, they will always be there. But you can’t simply expect someone to stay connected like that! Our behaviour is affected by situations we can’t control. We need to manage ourselves a lot emotionally.
Q: why people change?
DLM: In fact, everything changes. It’s another matter that we like some changes and we don’t like some. To be perfectly honest, you can’t force people to love you. You can’t imagine your life your way in connection with someone. Sometimes you can’t control yourself, so how can you think of controlling the thought-process of someone else? Whatever may be the circumstances, if there is love, it’ll take care of everything. So trust yourself more and stand with yourself as boldly as possible. Don’t think much about someone’s nature and behavior. You have no control over that.
Q: How to create a positive impression about ourselves?
DLM: See, you can’t make everyone happy. You should focus on your duty and effort. People have different feelings in different situations. You shouldn’t be affected by that. You must stay positive, strong and emotionally intelligent. Sometimes you need to act according to the situation. Have that sense of maturity to rise to the occasion. Try to express yourself skillfully on certain occasions. No impression is permanent. It is all situational. So focus on your actions in a positive manner. Don’t bother about the unwanted reactions of others. We should remember that the perception may affect the performance, but the performance can change the perception.
(Dr. Debilal Mishra, is a communication specialist currently working at Ravenshaw University, Cuttack Odisha as Assistant Prof., Dept. of Journalism and Mass Communication)